Monday, March 22, 2010
In a Christian hostel in Amsterdam, rather outside on the street in front of it, stark and wet grey dawns come and go... my hands, sheathed in red rubber, pick up trash, cigarette butts and chewed-up chicken wings from the cold brick, depositing into the black garbage bag.. my eyes scan the ground for gum, receipts, spliff filters, discarded cans and bottles..
i work with a mother and son from Hungary, but i dont know work the way that they know work... although we all work to survive.. they work to exist
they have no home to return to
Tomas, as we smoked Golden Gate cigarettes in the small courtyard, explained that he had some other prospects coming up
"On twenty-nine, i try for work at.. Burger King?" strong features, clear eyes that spoke dignity and lucid hardship, caught between memory and the approaching future..
"My father, says be send money. But no money." He took a drag and looked up at the rooftops and trees.
The topic changes. "You like action movie? Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Dolph Lundgren, Stallone?"
"Yes, I like them very much. Good movies." I forgot to say that i started talking to Tomas because he was whistling the Terminator 2 theme as he worked down the hall from me. I was elated.
"You like rock music? Scorpions, Guns and Roses, Pink Floyd?"
"Yeah man, awesome rock music. Very cool."
He looked up to the rooftops, clear, vigilant. "Yes. Rock music."
He suddenly turned to me with a need to communicate in his eyes:
"Them, the girl... they are... Prisoner of God!" His eyes strained to explain to me, but i understood.
"Ha ha. Yes, prisoners of God. It is very strange." I smiled.
He laughed heartily. "I believe in mother, father... for them, father is God!" He threw up his hands, uncomprehending.
How could you love an abstract concept more than your family? I could relate to his confusion.
4 days earlier, I had checked out of Bob's Youth Hostel in the heart of Amsterdam's red light district.
I ate the egg and bread breakfast, savored the tea. And asked a question of the New Zealander manning the desk.
"If you had to spend a few nights on the streets, where would you do it?"
He eyed me. "You are out of money?"
"Yeah. 4 days til my flight home. Any ideas?"
"Well, if teh weather was good I would say just make it to the westerpark, but its gonna be shit rain for days mate. Might try this homeless shelter." He marked it on a tourist map.
* * *
to be continued... so many tales to tell
Sunday, February 14, 2010
followed by the Doors - 'people are strange'
and then another song, maybe steve miller, 'you can only drive down main street so many times'
got a whole bunch of new songs forming, soon soon
moving fast under brilliant star skies, death hurtles by inches away
slept through kenora, thought of rmrm
winnipeg was amazing, banff was chilled, skipped regina, vancouver was the best of all
left sleeping bag, useless clothes, bag of cinnamon sticks in a frozen-slop city bus shelter on Garry Street, in the Peg... dead weight
Thursday, February 4, 2010
sidney - folk society meeting (church)
victoria - folk society meeting (heritage house)
nanaimo - open mic (converted bank)
vancouver - open mic (coffee house)
banff - open mic (community center)
regina - busk (rcmp church)
winnipeg - full set (bike repair co-op)
toronto - open mic (hostel)
peterborough - support set (club)
ottawa - busk (eternal flame)
montreal - full set (club)
amsterdam - busk (squat)
the hague - busk (international court of justice)
antwerp - busk (hidden ancient street)
ghent - full set (anarchist community center)
bruxelles - full set (club)
paris - support set (club)
toulouse - support set (club)
barcelona - busk (ancient cemetary)
zaragoza - busk (3rd century roman tower)
rouen - busk (monument where joan of arc was burned at the stake)
lille - busk (palais des beaux-arts)
new york city - support set (club)
san francisco - support set (club)
All details and dates are here.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
One certainty about homosexuality is that gay sex is inconsequential in nature; it is a biologically meaningless act. The experience is simply a repeated firing of electrochemical circuits during orgasm - followed by nothing.
Sex with a female, however, is entirely different. One kiss from a beautiful woman can send a man reeling for days. Real, uninhibited sex between a man and woman feels like a trip to another universe. There are measurable physical changes in members of opposite sexes when they interact, even just during a conversation.
I think that the reason sex with a woman leaves you feeling physically and spiritually invigorated and sex with a man leaves you feeling unfazed is both metaphysical and biological in nature.
My guess is, the intoxication associated with heterosexual sex is due to the fact that the Potential for the creation of new life is permeating the entire experience.
When a man and a woman have sex, ancient enzymes in our saliva are mixing and transforming… hormone and pheromone exchanges are taking place… biological organs with the express purpose of breeding new life are interacting.
Between two males, however, there is no 'chemistry'. Nature knows there is no possibility of new life being created from the encounter, and so it provides none of the electrochemical magic normally used to entice you into breeding with a woman.
Nature, in essence, is dismissing the sex as a non-event - in the hopes that you will miss the experiential reward of hetero sex, and next time use your seed in a more 'productive' manner.
I think that gay people can love each other with the same depth of affection that heterosexual couples do, but I don’t think the actual intoxication of creation can be experienced in gay sex, even in the most extreme of stimulating situations.
The physical reaction from the body is there, there is a blast of 'pleasure' - but it is one-dimensional and icy, a shock of release that quickly fades to grey.
Among primates, homosexuality and incest is a part of daily life. But primates do not possess the spark of divinity that we do; primates cannot conceptualize, design and create vast works of architecture, engineering and art.
Among humans, unique with our (necessary) concept of moral relativity and our conceptual brilliance, homosexuality is rooted in the dark side of lust, found in the wiring of natures emotional and chemical black markets…